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Whining....

                                                                                                       Saturday, September 24, 2011


    I confess today I am feeling a little daunted by the task I have laid out and I am feeling a little sorry for myself, or perhaps angry,  that I have to take this walk.  I have been on this journey for a long time.  I have tried to come to terms with death and to stop being so mad at God.  It  has not been easy, no vacation here.  And after all that, I'm still not done!
     It seems so unfair (I say as a stomp my foot) that I have to work so hard now to lose this weight and to reclaim myself.  Have I not worked hard enough the last 6 years getting to this place?  I know, I'm whining, and whining is annoying.  I know life is unfair, but I'm complaining about it.  It's not fair that I lost so many in such a short time span, it's not fair it has taken 6 years to realize I have been in the dark abyss and it's not fair that the journey out of it will be, in many ways, more difficult then the journey into it.  I am impatient, I want it to just be over.  I want my body and my life back and I want them NOW!!

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