Have you ever felt out of control of your life and wondered how the hell did I get here? This has been happening to me lately. I have had this realization several times in the past few weeks. When I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. Who is this person I have allowed myself to morph into and how do I get rid of her?
I will describe the person I see in the mirror, the one I have become. She is fat. There I said it! She has gained close to 100 pounds in the last 6 years. If I look real close, I can still sort of see the other me in her eyes, in her soul. The other me is a little chubby, but nothing like the woman looking back at me. This is a woman who has given up on life. She no longer cares how she looks, what she wears, or that she does nothing all day, every day. She rarely gets dressed, no longer showers everyday - every couple of days is plenty when you don't go anywhere. She spends her days in her bed. Sometimes reading, sometimes on her laptop, sometimes watching TV. She gets up to use the bathroom. She calls her son on the intercom to bring her stuff from the kitchen because she can't be bothered to get up. She is totally out of shape. Climbing the stairs to her 2nd floor apartment takes a bit of time. Standing in the kitchen, long enough to do the dishes, gives her a backache. And walking half a block to the corner leaves her totally winded with an aching back.
I hate this woman! She has taken over my body and my life. And I cannot figure out how to get rid of her. It feels like too big a task.
I will describe the person I see in the mirror, the one I have become. She is fat. There I said it! She has gained close to 100 pounds in the last 6 years. If I look real close, I can still sort of see the other me in her eyes, in her soul. The other me is a little chubby, but nothing like the woman looking back at me. This is a woman who has given up on life. She no longer cares how she looks, what she wears, or that she does nothing all day, every day. She rarely gets dressed, no longer showers everyday - every couple of days is plenty when you don't go anywhere. She spends her days in her bed. Sometimes reading, sometimes on her laptop, sometimes watching TV. She gets up to use the bathroom. She calls her son on the intercom to bring her stuff from the kitchen because she can't be bothered to get up. She is totally out of shape. Climbing the stairs to her 2nd floor apartment takes a bit of time. Standing in the kitchen, long enough to do the dishes, gives her a backache. And walking half a block to the corner leaves her totally winded with an aching back.
I hate this woman! She has taken over my body and my life. And I cannot figure out how to get rid of her. It feels like too big a task.
It has been said that any journey begins with a single step.
ReplyDeleteEven though some things may be daunting, they are still achievable if you put your mind and soul to it.
Wishing you the best of skill in seeing past the reflection and becoming the person you want to become.
I'm glad you still have sight of you; that means there is still hope in you. If you ever need anything...ANYTHING just give me a call. I am always here for you and always love you. I see you and just know your family is here to support you and will do anything for you.
ReplyDeleteKate